12-29-2001
Amelia Island, Florida

We've arrived. I'm writing this from the wrap around balcony. All the bedrooms have doors that open out on the balcony. It's after 8 PM - it took us some time to get here through the traffic and construction. From the balcony I can see the ocean -- distinguishable int he dark by the moon-lit ripples.

Periodically I can hear the slap of the ocean against the sand.

That reminded me of a great slumber I had long ago. Dad and I were playing in a bridge tournament at Virginia Beach. It was in the fall, after the tourism season, so we got a great room with a balcony right on the beach. Back then as an unseasoned child, balconies were such thrills and luxuries. Meanwhile in college, I rarely used the balconies in the Foxridge apartments.

Dad and I left our balcony door open at night. I'm not sure if it was his idea or mine-- but it was a great one.

All night we could hear the ocean and it peacefully brought us "sweet sleep" as Homer would say.

That trip I was introduced to another luxury. I had peanut butter cup pie from "The Jewish Mother". It was absolutely delicious. Still now, over a decade later, I think about that pie and wonder if The Jewist Mother still thrives down there.

I found out recently-- it does. I also found out that it isn't just the lunch/dinner venue with great pastries I thought it was. At night it doubles as a bar! That great pie was bar food! Who would have thought!

Last night trying to decide whether to come or not I went out on our stoop and looked out at the night sky and the silhoutted hills. I'm not sure if I was looking south, but I imagined extending my glance [all the way to the shore] and I decided.

Tonight I also sit outside in crisp weather looking at a night landscape. But this time the ocean is there. Am I here or is this my extended view?

I am here and that is in most part due to the generousity and kind heart of Melanie White. Last night amid the indecision, she stepped forward and said she and Bill were going to watch the dogs.

I owe her and Bill a great deal of gratitude. I just don't know the most fitting expression.

...

Brian and Keith are going to be back soon and we're going to eat so I should go.

12-30-2001

It's around noon and I was the 7th and the last person to take a shower this morning. Afterwards, I stepped out on the deck and strolled its circumference on bare feet. It's littered with Michelob bottles with varying levesl of emptiness. If the wind blows I can smell stale cigarette ash. At the very end of my walk I saw the origin of that odor. One of the glasses from downstairs is partially filled with discarded butts.

One thing people who live me slowly notice is that at home I rarely drink out of glasses. I buy papercups and all that I drink, I drink from them. The start of this practice is no mystery to me. In Occoquan when Jay and his friends started their late night socials with drinking, vomiting and smoking, they were often in the need of an ashtray. Frequently they used old beer cans, but a lot of times they'd settle for the nearest cup. Since the downstairs wasn't cleaned often, those cups and cigarettes got to fester. It was not a pleasant site. The aftermath isn't especially pleasant either. We had a series of cheap, plastic coffee cups. Their yellow bottoms got discolored and sometimes the hot cherries of the cigarettes melted and disformed the bottom plastic.

Mom continued to drink out of those coffee cups, but I abstained. When I'm not in a restaurant or someone's home, I usually abstain from all cups all together.

This morning I woke up at 8 AM. There wasn't an alarm clock in my room, but I used my cell phone's alarm system. I was skeptical that a cell phone would have the volume to wake me up, but it worked splendidly. Cell phone alarms even have a snooze button.

The reason I got up so early was to go to church. I went through a listing of churches and I chose to go to the Episcople church. It's historic, it was built in 1858. Plus it made me feel a little closer to Grandma Turnock. She was Episcopalian.

The church, St. Peter's, was beautiful. Three pointed archways exposed the alter. Behind the altar, three pointed stained glass windows let light shine through.

The inside of the roof was green, the walls were white and the rafters- intricate triangles of dark wood.

While I was admiring the intricacy of the aged architecture, a constant clicking sounds came to my attention. I looked around and there was an altar person lighting the candles in front of each stained glass window that ran down the side of the church. One of those long nosed clicker lighters was being used. It was funny to see such a modern gadget is use within [such an old] church.

One thing I wondered about the stained glass windows was the finger positions. I saw two characters raising their right hands -- the pointer and middle finder would be raised while the ring and the pinky would be bent gently. This is a common depiction of holy people. I wonder its origin and meaning.

People are waiting for me for lunch. I will continue later.

I'm at Magna's A Full Body Salon on Amelia Island. I'm going to get my first facial.

It's neat so far-- they have a reception area with free beverages. Jodi got some wine. Classy!

Yesterday at church near the end of the service the lady next to me spoke to me.

She was elderly, her skin was weathered and her teeth were prominent.

She asked, "What number is the hymn?"

I told her "100".

And she said, "Thank you, I forgot my glasses so I can't read the words."

?!?

A later verse, I looked over and saw she had her book opened to 118... but she was still singing the correct words.

Yesterday afternoon Kevin, Sean, Ryan and I stayed at the beach house while the others went to a Jacksonville Jaquars game.

We ate at a place called "The Surf". They had a heated patio you could eat on with TVs showing all the current NFL games.

Our waitress was really nice. She kept calling us "Baby" and "Honey". Once she called me "Baby Girl". She was about my age with dyed red hair. Her elbows had the same tough skin as mine.

Then the afternoon was low-key, relaxaing. We watched some football. I got to do some writing... and we laughed at the yellow pages. It started by Kevin looking for spa places for me-- but it ended with him flipping through and laughing at the headings and the business slogans. It brought us a bit of humour.

At dusk, I went for a beach walk with everyone but Kevin, Sean and Jodi. It was a nice time of night to go.

Often I marvel at triangular flocks of birds and how they instinctively know when to steer right or left. Last night, I saw an interesting variation. A flock of peligans flew over the ocean [chaning their altitudes]. You could see the first bird drop and then with a wave-like motion the other birds would drop. It was neat to watch.

I'm tired now. I barely slept at all last night. I couldn't sleep and as usual I got nauceous. Hopefully, I will sleep well tonight. I feel like I'm slowly falling in a trance as I sit here.

Vandervort said there's time for a nap before the festivities tonight. I hope he is right.

Tonight we are supposed to go into Jacksonville for the New Years celebration.

Tomorrow morning we're going to Jacksonville for the big game.

The next morning we leave for home.

I wish I knew why I couldn't sleep last night. I think creativity is too much like caffeine. Around midnight all of a sudden everyone was going to bed. I was right in the middle of a passage.

After I work late hours, I get home revved with energy. I need to wind down before bed. I guess I needed to do that last night, but I never wound down.

Kevin Ledman stayed up most of the night with me watching TV. He's tired today as well. I feel very bad and I've apologized a number of times all through the night. He always replied in a soft voice, "Don't worry about it." Then everytime I went to the bathroom, he'd lift his head off the couch and open his eyes and ask if I was okay. He's very nice.

1-1-2002

One our drive down I got a little restless especially after dark when I couldn't write or read. So I watched the various headlights and tail lights around me. I discovered when I took off my glasses the lights looked even neater.

I'm nearsighted. When I take my glasses off, things are blurry and as a consequence a little bigger. It's precisely that blurriness that makes it impossible for me to decipher details such as the letters on a road sign. But on the uphand, it can create some neat effects.

Tail lights were big circles, but they were textured. They looked almost like a stillshot of a firework at its peak. Turn signals had a similiar look, but because of the blinking it looked a lot like fireworks [in action].

The most interesting illusion was the headlights of the northbound traffic.

When far away the headlights are so blurry I can't even distinguish that there are two lights. There's just one big circle in the distance.

When the headlights get a little closer, my eyes start to recognize a tiny division between the 2 lights. It appears like an early zygote. An egg cell with one division. But the "two" lights are still attached.

As they travel even closer, they slowly seperate until there are two independent circles.

So as I watch it looks like dividing amoebas.

Last night we celebrated New Years at downtown Jacksonville. At first I thought I made a big mistake. I was very tired from not sleeping the night before and it was very cold. I didn't have a hat which made me even more cold. We looked around for hats to buy but found none-- well none that weren't a novelty item. Jodi came to the rescue-- she lent me her hat.

Sean and I seperated from the rest of the group early on. I saw a pretty waterfront I wanted to look at-- so we gawked at that while the others moved on.

The cityscape was beautiful. Sporadic windows were lit in the office building across the river-- that light reflected in the water. There were two bridges-- the one to the right had blue lights lining its rail. It looked almost like blacklights.

Somehow Sean and I had lucky timing. We reached this deck by the river right when a table and two chairs were freed up. We brushed aside many bread crumbs and saw right next to a spectacular view.

Sean and I worked on our Bye 2001 entry. Sean got some beer and I had a hot chocolate. We just sat, enjoyed the scenary and talked.

Our area never really got too crowded. There were a lot of people nearby during the fireworks, but never an overbearing crowd.

But just some yards away we could see packs of people trying to move through more packs of people. Sean and I were both glad we weren't part of that scene.

There was one bit of awkwardness. A man needed to bum a cigarette so Sean gave him one. It turned out this man was literally a bum. I think he was lonely because he talked a lot. Something else may have been up because he kept repeating the same stories he just told us.

We never did help him out unless you count the two cigarettes Sean gave him. I just couldn't figure out if he was genuine and lonely or if he was a spectacular marketer.

Two of his selling points:

"Ever since the tragedy in New York, no one wants to hire laborers"

"People try to help me out by giving me a beer, but I don't want beer"

I just don't know. Normally I think I'd give money without question-- but something puzzled me about him.

His name was Daniel.

In the mid nineties, I met a bum in Washington, D.C. He wanted money - but when he saw a camera - he found something he coveted more. At his request, I took a picture of him. He wanted to be remembered.

Last night we met a bum with similiar aspirations. Daniel wanted me to write about him in my notebook so he would be remembered as a good homeless person. And so I have done.

It turned out Sean and I had perfect seats for the fireworks display. It was definitely the best display I've seen in recent years. The quality was even more enhanced by the river and city backdrop. We could see the light display reflecting in the river and the windows of the nearby office buildings. They had fireworks that made stars and fireworks that made smiley faces.

I thought about the firework illusion I saw without my glasses on in the car- so I took my glasses off last night.

I found the fireworks were even better without my glasses on. Each spark is a bigger blob so the explosions seem closer. I felt more immersed by the display.

Near the end of the bridge to the left was entirely lit up with fireworks. There was a huge waterfall of light and sparks descending from the bridge to the river. That was one of the few cases where the fireworks looked better with my glasses on.

Virginia Tech lost to Florida State today 30 - 17. Alltel Stadium was neat. The seats felt a little close together though.

I think the thing that captured most of my attention was not the game.

Early in the first quarter I noted two birds on the 15 yard line. I kept looking at them to see what they were doing and when they were going to move. When the play first came near them, a referee tried to shoo them away but they barely budged. Two players-- a receiver and a defender actually went right by the birds and they tripped. The darker and smaller of the birds flew away -- but the white big one just moved a little. After the play, the Virginia Tech player in the pair was speaking to the referee. The player pointed to the bird. We think he was blaming the bird [for poor play].

But the bird stayed put.

At least until near the end of the 2nd Quarter. Then-- while play was all the way on the other side of the field and for no direct reason the bird took off. But that wasn't the end of that dove. Periodically through the rest of the game it would fly around the stadium. It was surprisingly close to the crowd. I saw at least three people -- two on the opposite standas - jump up with open arms to greet the dove.

Sean called me out today. There were some jets that were flying around as we approached the stadium. Back in September, heard Jay use a phrase that I used today.

"War Plane"

At one point I said, "I like war planes."

And Sean said, "I think you just like saying 'war planes'".

He was absolutely right. The term has a ring to it and it reminds me of Jay to boot.

Jodi and I treated ourselves yesterday. He went to a place called Magna's Spa and got facials. That place was--- wait -- this was covered. I apologize. I was exhausted when that entry was penned.

Tonight I had a traditional New Years Supper. Like my Christmas Eve dinner I had no idea it was a tradition. Apparently black-eyed peas are supposed to bring you luck. I had no idea. To support the menu's declaration, Ben said over supper, "Actually it does feel weird to not have black-eyed peas" so I gave him a forkful of mine.

Exiting the restaurant they had a tray for after dinner candy and another tray with dried black-eyed peas. I didn't know what they were for so I asked.

"You're supposed to put them in your wallet" The cashier said, "It's for luck."

So I complied.

Sean cut his hand last night on some glass. That makes 2 games - away games - this year where Sean attends with an injured hand.

Well, I'm going to go now. We have a long ride ahead of us tomorrow and some laundry to do before check out.

At the beginning of our trip down here, Ledman got gas or something. When he returned I pointed at him from the car and chanted, "You! You! You!"

Needlesstosay that baffled him so I explained. There is an episode of "Picket Fences" where a child molester moves into town. The town members don't know how to drive him out, so one they try is pointing at him and chanting, "You! You! You!" over and over again.

Eventually the man shot himself in the head. Kevin with his typical half smile said, "So you're trying to get rid of me?"

The "You! You! You!" quote came up a few times on the trip and I had to resummarize its origin.

Then today, we were all convened in the living room waiting for the linens to dry. As usual, someone was flipping through the television stations trying to find something decent to watch.

Wouldn't you know it? Picket Fences was on. Within the first two seconds of the episode I realized it was the child molester episode.

So we all watched it and they got to see exactly what I was talking about.

I had forgotten how much I liked Picket Fences. It is such a funny show. I remember Brian Nenninger and I watching it over the phone while we were in high school. The serial bather episode comes to mind.

Brian Nenninger and I watched a lot of TV shows over the phone. I remember Saturday Night Live. We were watching over the phone when Jack Handy's "Hey, free dummy" Deep Thought was debuted.

We're in South Carolina now. It's raining and 33 degrees out. When we left Florida it was raining and 55 degrees. That's 22 degrees the temperature dropped and we have a lot more northbound travel left.

I saw something cool in Georgia (I believe). We passed a naked tractor trailer. It didn't have a trailer, it was just a cab. The back four tires were splashing up rain water. The droplets shot up even higher than the cab itself. It looked like a fountain.

I forgot to capture another cool site. Our very first night at Amelia Island, we ate a late supper at a waterfront restaurant in the historic district. It was already dark by the time so we got a lovely look at all the Christmas decorations. There's something about Christmas decorations hidden amoung palm trees and sand. It's just a warming look. Some decorations were very traditional, but there were one or two houses that really built on the beach theme. One house had Santa and his sleigh drawn out of colored lights. Instead of having reindeer guide his sleigh, however, there were dolphins.

Then I saw some people decorate their palm trees... and made them look like palm trees. The trucks were wrapped with brown lights and green lights were draped over the leaves.

This morning when we woke up it was rainy and windy outside. From the top balcony I could see a lot of white-capped waves in the ocean. Our stay here the waves haven't really drawn very much attention to themselves. They were small and forgiving. But the waves this morning looked brutal. But I wasn't scared. I was intriqued watching those waves and seeing the palm trees fight against the wind. It was interesting to see.

It's funny how attached I get to inanimate objects. I have 2 Dr. Grip gel writer pens. This one and another one.

I took the green one with me to the New Year's celebration in Jacksonville. Sean and I wrote that "Bye 2001" entry in Jacksonville. I put my pen back in my pocket and zipped it up when I was done.

BUT- when I got back to Ledman's car and Sean and I savoured the heater's warmth, I couldn't find the pen. I checked both my pockets and visually checked my seat. I quickly concluded that I lost that Dr. Grip - for real this time. I frequently misplace it but I soon find it again. But leaving the pen amid that celebration, there was no hope in finding it again.

That made me sad. It is a pen! It only costs six dollars! But it wasn't the pen's absence that made me sad. It was the fact that it would get swept away with all the beer bottles, the cups, the confetti. It would be treated like trash. thinking someone might pick it up and use it. That was an easier thought. It's a good pen and it deserves to be used- not thrown away.

But then - I found it. The pen was hanging onto Kevin Ledman's spare key chain [which was also in my pocket]- the clip of the pen was securely stuck to the metal ring.

I was happy. A six dollar pen brings me that much happiness and relief.

My memory failed me again today.

We had to hurry our hygiene activities this morning so we could wash our towels and sheets. After I took my shower, I quickly corraled Ryan in there to take his as he was using the last of the towels we needed for our load.

I started collecting his sheets. Then I packed. Suddenly as I packed in the last things, I felt a familiar sensation in my lower abdomen [and was reminded that I was menstruating].

"Oh man..." I said.

"What?" Sean asked.

"I left an unused tampon over the sink for Ryan to see" I said.

I shook my head, "How embarassing!"

"Maybe Ryan won't know what it is." Sean volunteerred.

Regardless, I would have preferred Ryan not see it.

When Ryan finished his shower and was securely in his room, I rushed into the bathroom. Alas, no tampon.

I checked the floors but found no sign. I gave up and went back into the room.

Packing again, I had a foggy recollection of string management when I was [using the toilet]. That prompted further investigation. I was wearing that tampon.

Even now, with full knowledge that I inserted the tampon, I still can't recall doing so.

I'm haunted with doubts-- how do I know I took all of the cellophane off? I most certainly did-- but how do I know for sure? It's a weird sensation not being able to trust your own recollection.

All the more reason to document [memories] as they pop up.

With that, here are two more Dad tales:

Howdy Howdy Howdy

As a young girl one day I discovered if I put my feet sideways heel to heel, I could walk bow-legged. I couldn't see myself, but I envisioned I looked very much like a cowboy.

That night when Dad arrived home from work, I ran out to the porch to demonstrate my discovery.

"Look at me, Daddy!" I said, "I'm a cowboy. Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!"

Dad may have slapped me. At any rate he reprimanded me. He told me it wasn't an appropriate way for a little girl to walk.

Knee Walk

Another day in my childhood, Carolyn, Jay and I were walking around on our knees. We held our heels behind our butts and moved around the living room-- or maybe it was Grandma's house. Through one afternoon of practice, I got very adept at it. I could balance on one knee if I wanted to. I could move forwards and backwards. I could [even] turn around.

Again when Dad came home from work, I was anxious to show off for him. So I walked around and demonstrated my new skill.

"Don't do that" Dad said in jest, "The Good Lord might think you don't want the bottom of your legs and take them away in an accident.'

Dad's statement could be true of God manages the world the way the government does its budget.

A lot of our QualTrax customers are government or government contractors. If they don't use all the money in their budgets by the end of the year they don't get that money for next year.

The mentality is "You didn't use it, so you don't need it."

As a result, we see a lot of those companies purchasing stuff to get rid of the extra budget money. Works out well for us at times!

We just saw an upside down truck on the side of the road. It had mascot magnets on it-- I think for the University of South Carolina. They were just like us- traveling to route for their team. And an icy road got the better of them.

If my Dad's budget theory is valid, perhaps those drivers like skidding in empty parking lots for fun.

I just saw snow in a field on the side of the road.

The first night when we walked in the crisp air to the beach we used a wooden walkway to cross the dunes. There were some sporadic vegetation on the sandy hills. In the full money light-- the dunes almost looked like there were patches of snow between the bushes. The cold weather perpetuated that illusion.

Wow-- we just passed a green Dodge Dakota that's facing the wrong way on the side of the road. He spun out. Snow is commonplace on the side of the road now.

At midnight during New Year's, Ben Harden found a young lady to kiss. He was so proud-- he took a picture of her so everyone would believe he got to tongue such a beautiful girl.

The next day he discovered the girl was not what he remembered. Everyone got a great kick out of the scenario. I believe the [term] "pumpkin head" was mentioned.

Ben reports the girl took a picture of him too. I wonder if she and her friends were poking similiar fun at Ben.

This trip has been a trip of simple pleasures. I already wrote about our fun with the phonebook. But the other day we watched the Christopher Lowell Show.

I consciously know of no prejudices I have towards homosexual men. I do hope my amusement isn't construed as disapproval of his lifestyle.

That said, we found the show amusing. He is a very animated host and emphasized the strangest words. We laughed a lot. He even dressed up as an old lady and did a skit about Flea Market etiquette. It was amusing.

A non-simple pleasure we enjoyed was seafood. We had a lot of it. Yesterday I believe a large majority of Keith Phelp's diet was shrimp.

Another simple pleasure. On the way down here we got stuck in a great deal of traffic. Kevin noticed a small road on the map that ran parallel to the highway so we got off and went through a small town called St. George's. There were some amusing signs there. At one point we passed an ice factory- but the building was really burnt.

"That's interesting" Kevin said, "Somehow the ice plant caught on fire!!!" We all laughed.

We just passed a car that somehow got wedged between the guard rails that seperated the north bound and the south bound lanes.

We can't figure out how it got wedged in there - but it was a perfect fit. There was still a fat lady in the car. She couldn't open her doors because of the tight fit -- and I'm guessing she can't climb out the window because of her weight.

We're still in South Carolina. The weather is very wintery. We've seen an awful lot of cars on the side of the road. An amazing amount of them face the wrong way for what side of the road they are on. The abandoned damaged cars are coming in clumps now. You'll see three or four all in one stretch.

Snow is beautiful and youthful. It awakens an innocent spirit within-- it reminds me of innocence -- getting rock candy from an Occoquan show with Eileen Hjelm.

It's so weird something so pure and so innocent can be so deadly.

We passed a girl that had a lot of ice accumulating [on her bumper] behind her tire. It was just a few inches over the road. I imagine it will continue to accumulate until it contacts the asphalt and breaks away.

Even in nature there are safeguards against unbridled ambition.